Sunday, July 08, 2007
title is Confused...
yupyup.. tis is e title.. i juz feel being with her is really happy and stuff but she make mi learn 1 thing nothing is forever.its like i can giv her gifts presents money anything but who knows down e road will she still be with mi? i was talking 2 her on e fone and i realise if shes not the 1 for me y shld i be spending alot of money all tis? cause no1 can realli make u certain tat she wants 2 spend e rest of her life with u. tats y tat doubt isalways in me i duno y i become veri pessimistic. like cuz her ex Heng. is overseas working but i'm here with her. i juz feel if 1 day we quarrel and stuff when we maybe older she has nothing 2 lose. she can still go back 2 him cuz he always working and no need 2 send gifts and money or wad well i will be keep spending and spending and eventually no money left? and when he come back singapore or wad he will be like really loaded den she go back with him? she makes mi have this feeling always tat she does not want 2 end up with mi cuz maybe she feels i m nt financially stable and stuff but i wonder if she realli serious with mi or playing with me? i know i shld nt think like tis but i juz cannot seem 2 think otherwise. i came back frm australia i bought her more den 400 of gifts and clothes etc.. but i think back is it worth it? y not i save the money and use it for my wife? i never know who will my wife be but will it be stupid 2 keep buying things for a girl whom u love deeply and den u nev er know if she will be with u till the end. like she taught mi. she no need 2 care abt e start of middle all she needs is 2 knw who she's gonna end up with. tat 1 stuck mi deeply and made mi realise nothing is forever even married also can divorce i feel so sad and juz cry cuz its like its such a cruel world out there.
12:14 AM
My heart skipped a beat; 